“Right now, in the midst of this pandemic, you are in the most opportune place…regardless of your circumstances or situation…to take control of what you can control; which is who you are at the level of feeling. Right now you have the potential to come out of this stronger than you’ve even been before.” —Panache Desai, on Dave Asprey’s podcast

One early morning not long ago, I awoke gripped by anxiety, fears

As tends to happen during certain predawn hours

The same hours when those prehistoric ancestors of ours who allowed anxiety to prevent them from exiting their caves to gaze at the stars

Did not fall prey to predator’s tusks, or plunge into ravines’ inky blacknesses

Yet instead lived, to pass along their genes…to us

Do we survive in the same fashion?

My rule of thumb when waking dead-of-night: If I don’t drift back to sleep within twenty minutes

No matter what time it is, I move into my Wim Hof breathing exercises, and meditate

Finishing between the blankets, relaxed…if not into sleep, then into more peaceful contemplation

Later that morning, as the sun peeked above the treeline, I began my daily writing practice

Sipping my beloved black coffee, in a comfortable pink plush armchair

Favorite brown wool scratchy blanket warding off the pre-dawn chill

The birds outside beginning to trill and call to one another

The sun’s rays further warming her faraway child, our Earth

There’s so much to be grateful for! As I began clicking keyboard and setting to screen this week’s Meditations on Meth

Thinking of how I might bring something of value to you

Suddenly, nothing was working!

(Not properly, anyway)

My iPhone got hit with what’s described on the internet as the Black Screen of Death

Of course, I don’t need the iPhone to write…but I use the stopwatch to time my morning meditation in the field behind my home

I sipped my beloved coffee, staring at the BSOD, realizing…

Certain scenarios compel one to reexamine their operating system

Summon upgrades from thin air

Although there’s no thin air any more

Information waves circulate

Ones and zeroes, one supposes

Particles so small as to be for all purposes invisible

Yet affect every aspect of our lives

Outside my window, the last remnants of late-April snow formed a mini-mountain, holding steadfast against the rain

The IT specialists were off-line, no one taking calls…communication, seeming impossible

Yet I could control what I could control, and draw strength from above and inside

I began downloading Catalina, the latest Apple operating system

On Catalina Island, off the coast of California, a bald eagle makes her nest

Raising her young…you can even watch her on a live cam

(At least you could, if your computer or phone worked!)

The eagle doesn’t need a YouTube tutorial, a Facebook group, or a Zoom call

(Nothing wrong with any, of course—I use them all the time)

Her young will spread their wings

And someday, maybe, raise their own young

As the minutes ticked away on the kitchen clock, the laptop upon which I try to bring value to you

Struggled to life

Outside my four walls, civilization—you included—struggled through another day, or night

Yet many triumph, too

You, for example

You inspire me to keep overcoming my mistakes and setbacks! 

Through your kind words, your friendship—your continued nurturing appreciation for what I have

You inspire me to stay focused on a vision for the future, one in which I constantly remind myself what I’m grateful for

To stay focused on my desired mindset, one in which I understand that things happen for me, rather than to me

Your life has purpose! And by inspiring me, you allow me to inspire people who are/were incarcerated, and turning their lives around

I drained the last of my beloved black coffee, as the Catalina OS downloaded

Praying to the God I believe exists

Faith in the invisible seldom goes unrewarded…

Whether it be faith in our ability to persevere

Or faith that what we wish to pass, will do so

Or faith in that form of the Spirit in which we may choose to believe

My laptop, on its own, restarted

I was able to reset my phone

Not having written much for the day, but that’s okay

A the true loss would’ve been, to fail to use the opportunity as a learning experience

Later, I trudged through greening grass, underneath a lightening sky

To the field, to begin my meditation—to connect with that which is invisible, but I believe exists

Resources For You

If you know or are a person who is struggling, check out my free PDF: Ten Helpful Questions to Ask When Someone You Love is Recovering From Addiction

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